Articles by "Love Facts"

Showing posts with label Love Facts. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 19, 2016
One of the biggest dating challenges is decoding the behavior of a potential partner on whether or not he/she is suggesting a date. While smiles and laughter may be signs of mere friendliness, sometimes a shy and guarded stance can actually mask an interest in you. Here are then ten signs to indicate that someone wants you ask you out even before they have actually put forth the question.
  1. He/she keeps in touch
    If a guy or girl calls you often, mails you or sends text messages, it is practically certain that he/she is interested in you. Maybe he/she is testing waters before asking you on a date or maybe he/she simply likes to talk to you – either way, a desire to communicate on a regular basis is an infallible evidence of a person’s interest in someone he/she likes. The validity of this clue becomes more obvious when you consider the reverse situation - for when a guy or girl ‘forgets’ to return your calls or reply to your emails, it is practically certain that they no longer wants to see you anymore.
     
  2. He/she initiates meetings
    Do you find a guy thinking up excuses to want to meet you often or does a female co-worker happen to pass you on your way to your workplace with an unfailing regularity? If so, it is probably because he/she likes being with you. The person may want to return something you left at the previous meeting or wish to have a cup of coffee with you for no particular reason. These are signs that the man or woman enjoys your company and is thinking of asking you out.
     
  3. He/she wants to know more about you
    A man or woman who is interested in you will want to know about your hobbies, work and friends. He/she will ask you questions and will actively listen to what you say. He/she may ask your opinion on various matters and seem willing to look at issues from your point of view. If this person wants to ask you out he may even laughingly ask if you have a steady boyfriend or she may sound out your preferences in women.
     
  4. He/she presents you with conventional tokens of interest
    This is more common in case of guys but even women may exhibit some gesture of romantic interest – like a bottle of the best Bordeaux - in a person before asking him out. If a guy is keen on you, sooner or later he will come up with traditional gestures of romantic interest. He may send you a lovely bouquet of flowers to your workplace or present you a box of premium chocolates the next time you meet. The nature of the love token will of course depend on the personality of the guy or woman but if he/she likes you they will surely find a way of letting you know about their interest in you.
     
  5. He/she tries to reach out
    If you are already share a common space such as a workplace, the same apartment building or the guy, then a guy or woman who is interested in you, will find small ways to connect with you physically. She may lightly brush against you when walking to her treadmill in the gym or he might pick up your scarf and drape it over your arm. Again your fingers may touch for a fleeting moment when he gets you a coffee when you are out with friends in a cafe. An exception here could be the guarded type, who may consciously keep him/herself from touching you unless he/she is completely sure of your interests and commitment.
     
  6. He/she sounds out your friends
    A man or woman who is thinking of asking you out will very likely bounce the idea off your friends first. This may not be just to ask if you are single – he/she probably already knows that by now  – but to find out your interests and what you enjoy on a night out. Also this will give him/her some clue about your expectations from a date – for instance if you like special venues like a French restaurant or like to keep things casual like a beer and a bite in the neighborhood bowling alley.
     
  7. He/she is open to any plans with you
    A man or woman who is interested in going out with you is hardly likely to come up with excuses like “I’m afraid I’m allergic to pollen” if there is a suggestion of taking walk through the park together. On the other hand he/she will be completely amenable to any future plans as long as it includes you both. So if you happen to mention that you like bowling you may find him/her brightening up and saying, “You do? I’m crazy about it myself. We should do that some time pretty soon”.
  8. The “time” clue
    If you know a person quite well but still wonder if he/she would ask you to a date, notice when exactly he/she wants to hang out with you. People who see members of the opposite sex as no more than co-workers or buddies would usually agree to a workday lunch or even an after-work drink but nothing later than that. On the other hand, if a woman or man suggests meeting for a drink late evening or a movie on a weekend, usually he/she wants the meeting to continue longer and get to know you on a more personal level.
     
  9. He/she is jealous of other women
    If you find a man or woman giving you the silent treatment when you have been joking around or having a drink with other people of the opposite sex, it is a sure sign as any that he/she wants to be more than just a friend. Someone who is interested in having a dating relationship with you will be acutely wary of competition and should he/she catch you flirting with others, he/she may be quite capable of getting jealous too.
     
  10. He/she appears to be on tenterhooks
    Despite their usual engaging friendliness, if a man or woman suddenly appears to be on pins and needles, it probably means that he/she is going over and over in his/her mind about how best to ask you out. The guy or girl may be their normal cheerful self with others but nervous and fidgety in your company, especially if he/she is replaying all the possible consequences of asking you out. And if you too like this person, it may be time to send some pretty strong signals that his/her proposal to a date will be met favorably.
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Tuesday, January 19, 2016 ,

When you’re getting to know each other and are in the initial stages of a budding relationship, it's best not to reveal everything about yourself to your lover. If you insist on telling him everything, even if your life is an open book, he might be bored because he already knows more than he probably needs to. It is always good for a relationship to retain a hint of mystery and to keep him guessing a bit. It is more fun to let him discover things for himself and gradually uncover your hidden depths, layer by layer.

If you have a few skeletons in your closet, and you choose to reveal them all in the beginning of the relationship when you’re still treading on uncertain ground, you run the risk of your partner backing off if he’s not comfortable with what you have disclosed. Once you are more settled into the relationship and if the situation presents itself, tell him only as much as you think he should know.
Trust and honesty is important for a relationship, so if he asks you certain pointed questions, don’t try and hide stuff. But you don’t have to tell him all the gory details, an abbreviated version will do. Being comfortable enough with your lover, to tell him the truth, also involves trusting him enough with your feelings and that he will not abuse this trust, or use whatever you tell him to get back at you someday, or throw it in your face.
If your lover is the jealous type or overly possessive, be wary of what you tell him about past relationships. If you think he can’t handle the information in a mature manner, tell him selectively whatever you think he can deal with. And if he doesn’t ask, don’t tell him at all.
Also, if you do discuss your past history with your lover, you don’t need to go into details about each and every past relationship you’ve ever had. He also doesn’t need to know statistics – how many boyfriends you’ve had, how many people you’ve slept with, how many live-in relationships you’ve had – unless you’re truly comfortable and want to discuss it. And unless it becomes a bone of contention, some things are best left in the past.

And guys, you also don’t have to reveal to your lover how intimate you were with your last girlfriend. Or what you used to fight about. If she’s pushing you to talk about it, keep it brief or be evasive and tell her you can’t remember every detail or you don’t like to dwell on what’s over and done with. Don’t ever say that you’re not ready to talk about it, as your partner will take it as a sign that you still have feelings for your old girlfriend and don’t trust her enough to talk about it.

The reason why you shouldn’t get into ‘telling all’ is by pleading to the 5th amendment – Anything you say can and will be used against you – at a future date. If you told her, for instance, that your last girlfriend hated how messy you were, the next time you leave your socks lying around, you’ll have it thrown back in your face with a "No wonder she dumped you".

Or if you told him that your friends often call you a control freak, the next occasion you give him a list of things to be done around the house, he’ll use it against you, telling you that its no surprise that you’ve got a reputation like that.

Or if you happen to have once made the mistake of telling him that your boyfriend thought you were a tad obstinate and pigheaded, the next time you’re having an argument, he’s going to rub it in by saying, "See, this is why you’re not in a relationship, because you refuse to see another point of view apart from your own."

And don’t ever make the colossal mistake of telling your lover that your ex and you had a great sex life. He/she will always feel inadequate and that they pale in comparison, and no matter what you say afterwards, they will always feel that they never measure up.
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Thursday, January 14, 2016 ,
The beginning of a relationship is almost always accompanied with hopes that partners would continue to love and support each other in the days to come. Unfortunately, many times such hopes are belied and relationships run aground. Here are the ten most common reasons why people break up and couples drift apart.

  1. Infidelity
    Mutual love and trust are the foundation for a meaningful relationship in a mainstream monogamous society. When a partner indulges in an extramarital affair, the action strikes at the very heart of a relationship which is often unable to cope with the emotional and practical consequences and heads towards breakup. The strongest proof of how infidelity is the most common cause of a breakup lies in the rising divorce rates in modern society. Even though us government statistics1 put it at a rather conservative estimate of 3.6 divorces per thousand populations, so much is without doubt that marriages breaking up are more common now than ever in America. And one of the most common reasons for divorces is extra marital affairs. According to a statistics gleaned from 2004, the highest percentage of divorces - as much as 27% - in the US are caused by extramarital affairs with family strains and then marital abuse coming at the second - 18% - and third - 17% - most common reasons for divorce respectively. In yet another study2, more than 25 percent of the women said that their husbands' unfaithfulness was a factor in their divorce. If so many marriages are breaking up mainly because of infidelity, its impact on non-marital, monogamous relationships is bound to be even larger where the legal and family ties of a marriage are absent.
     
  2. Sex
    While sexual intercourse is not a necessary part of a relationship, physical intimacy certainly is. It is only when two people enjoy and desire intimacy with each other that they make a couple in the romantic sense and are different from close friends of opposite sexes. In fact for serious and long term relationships like marriage, the quality of sexual satisfaction can be a reliable indicator as to its health – while happy couples may differ on how often and how much they are doing it, a common characteristic of relationships on the verge of breakup is complete lack of sexual or even physical intimacy. Then again sex is not simply a physical act of release – there are a whole lot of other aspects to it like emotions, senses, hormones, perceptions and so on. Thus it is no wonder that different things satisfy different individuals. When taken to an extreme, diverging sexual likes and dislikes, sexual fetishes and sexual dysfunction induce sexual incompatibility and eventually lead to a breakup.
     
  3. Money
    Together with sex and infidelity, money issues rank among the most common reasons for conflict in a committed relationship like marriage. Money may be used to dominate a relationship or satisfy a hungry ego. Too little of it can be a source of anxiety especially when there are mortgages to be paid off or kids to be educated. Again too much of it can also lead to inflated egos and breaking bonds. Conflicts about money usually arise when partners have differing priorities. While a man may believe in splurging on a new sports car, a woman may feel that the money is better spent on a long vacation to an exotic location. Yet another common complaint about money in a relationship is that the partner who controls the purse strings assumes that he or she can control the relationship.  Traditionally, a husband took most of the decisions in a marriage since he was the major and often the only earning member. Even though the situation has now improved with women being financially independent and couples not always living as a married couple, the old mindset can still spell trouble in a relationship and lead to imbalance of power. Above all a relationship is doomed when money is used as a bartering counter. If one feels that any of his/her needs as a partner, like greater intimacy, are not being met within a relationship, he/she may be prone to using the lure of money or expensive gifts to get what he/she want. After the first few times, this will only make the other partner feel cheap about the relationship besides leaving the underlying issues unresolved, inevitably leading to a breakup.
     
  4. Monotony
    When two people form a relationship, they are usually do it with the expectation that the heady days of love will last forever. But over time when the partners get accustomed to each other, they get comfortable in the relationship and settle down in a routine. Then one day this routine and the daily responsibilities of a shared life are too much to bear. One or both partners find out that the spark has gone from their relationship, the relationship is boring and no longer fulfills their needs. Breakups caused by this are commonly known as “falling out of love” or “growing apart”. Even if on its own, this may not be a common reason for splitting, the emotional disconnect caused by boredom makes the relationship prone to other dangers, most commonly affairs.
     
  5. Intellectual compatibility
    While a sexual and emotional disconnect are the most common reasons for straying in a relationship, an equally valid reason could be lack of intellectual compatibility between the partners. Intellectual compatibility is an important force of attraction which enables a couple to be interested in roughly the same things and take pleasure in similar kinds of mental preoccupations. Essentially an intellectual compatible couple are on the same or at least similar intellectual wavelength – they can talk about, discuss and pursue things which are mutually enjoyable. After the initial euphoria of physical and emotional attraction is over, a relationship needs more substantial grounds to hold the partners together. Common values, shared interests and the ability to offer each other something new come to matter more in the long run. And for couples who cannot be on the same intellectual page, each will seek out enthusiasts of his or her own interests, thus drifting away from one other.
     
  6. Cultural differences
    In these times when globalization has brought together different people and cultures closer than ever before, being in a relationship or marrying someone from another country and culture is not as unusual as it used to be a few decades ago. However cultural differences often turn out to be a major stumbling block that other forces like sexual chemistry and compatible personality are unable to cross. The most common sites of these cultural differences are culinary habits, religious practices, child rearing and the role of women. In general societies from Asia and Middle East expect a woman to take the primary responsibility of keeping house and bringing up children. While societies in North America and Western Europe are more egalitarian in terms of gender roles, Scandinavian countries accord the greatest degree of equality to men and women in marriage or a civil partnership; in fact certain east European societies can even seem quite conservative in comparison. While these are only very broad generalizations, they are an indication of how expectations from either partner in a relationship can create conflict and eventually lead to a breakup.
     
  7. Family interference
    Though this figures more as a cause for marital breakups, excessive and negative interference from parents can sour many a budding relationship too. Parents may have issues with the class, cultural and racial background of their children’s partner and thus push to nip the growing bond. If the child is too weak to resist the interference or the bond between him/her and the partner is too weak, then it can spell the end of a relationship. Financial demands by parents can also wreak havoc in a marriage where the partners may be already struggling to balance expenses and income. In such a situation if one partner finds the other consistently lavishing precious resources on the latter’s parents, then he/she may opt of the marriage.
     
  8. Personality problems
    Sometimes making a relationship work is not about a joint effort at all – it may just happen that one of the partners has personality issues which makes it simply impossible to have a relationship. For instance while narcissist and sex addicts find it impossible to remain faithful to a single partner, those suffering from sociopathic and borderline personality disorder may be extremely difficult to live and have a relationship with. Such personality disorders make unfaithful and unsupportive partners since people suffering from them are incapable of making an emotional connection with a primary partner. Unfortunately it is not always possible to spot personality disorders in the early stages of dating – by the time one feels something is off, he/she is already in the thick of a troubled relationship and the only way to safeguard one’s emotional health is to get out of it.
     
  9. Abuse
    This is a far more serious cause of breakup and is often an extension of the above point – in most cases the abusive partner has a deep-rooted personality problem which leads him/her inflict abuse in some form or other – emotional, verbal, physical or sexual. Substance abuse is another variation whereupon drug use or alcohol addiction wreaks havoc in a relationship to the extent that the non-addicted partner has no other option but to leave for the sake of his/her well-being. While emotionally healthy and financially independent partners lose no time in getting out of such  toxic relationships, the worst sufferers are partners who are financially dependent on the abusive partner or who have develop the habit of co-dependency due to long years in an unhealthy relationship or an unhappy past.
     
  10. Lack of purpose
    And then there are couples who simply drift into a relationship and justify it perhaps by saying something like “it seemed the next logical thing to do”. Two people may have been merely dating each other and after a while moved in together. Or they may have been in an exclusive relationship for some time and then started looking at wedding rings. Marriage or any committed relationship for that matter is a complex thing with its specific responsibilities and privileges and unless both partners feel that they are completely ready for those, it is likely to end in a breakup.
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Thursday, January 14, 2016 ,
Letting go of a loved one is always a difficult thing to do. When you love someone deeply, taking that person out of your life is like tearing away a part of yourself. The pain can be so intense as to debilitate a person. And yet life must go on. No matter how the loved one got separated – whether by death, divorce or a breakup – it is essential that you stop obsessing over what you have lost. Here are a few ways to let go of someone you love and move on.
1. Accept what has happened
The first step to letting go of a loved one is to accept the separation. No matter how smart, attractive and successful you are, you cannot command another person to stay or leave. Understand that you have no control over the other person’s decisions and actions. If your relationship has turned sour, it is best to accept the reality and let go of your partner. Clinging to false hopes and expecting reconciliation will only increase your misery and prolong the hurt which you need to leave behind.
2. Allow yourself to grieve
Letting go of a person whom you have loved with all your heart is as painful as ripping out a piece of yourself. But let the pain come and allow yourself to grieve for a while. Denying the feelings of hurt or suppressing them with destructive habits like drugs and alcohol will only make the pain worse and further delay the healing process which is necessary to help you bounce back. If you feel like sobbing loudly, do so in your own room when no one else is around. Or if you feel like staying in a darkened room with mournful music playing, do so for a couple of days. Let the pain get out of your system in whatever way you wish. It will bring about a catharsis of sorts and after that you will surely feel a bit lighter.
3. Talk to someone
Share your heartbreak with a close friend, sibling or even a counselor if you are hurting too much. In order to let go of a loved one, you need to work through your feelings of hurt, disappointment, betrayal and anger. But go about it with a purpose. Instead of whining and complaining endlessly, see if talking about your feelings can help you to garner some valuable lessons. Figure out your role in the relationship that went sour and consider how it might prepare you better for a new one.
4. Get rid of reminders
One practical way to let a partner go out of your life is to get rid of all the things that remind you of him or her. These may include letters, cards, gifts, clothes and jewelry. Don’t hold on to any personal effects that your partner may have left at your place. If you have calmed down by now, return them by mail or if you are feeling deliciously vengeful, throw them in the trash. The sooner you detach yourself from the things that remind you of the loved one, the easier it will be for you to let go.
5. Force yourself to get out
After you have allowed yourself to grieve for a certain period, make a firm decision to get out. Go back to your work if you had taken a few days off or rejoin any classes that you may have been taking before the breakup. Go out to the grocery store and stock up on food supplies instead of continuing to eat out of a tin. The very act of going out and buying things or rejoining a routine will help you to stop thinking of the other person, if only for a brief while. Remember that if you wish to let go of someone, you will have to take the first step. No one else can do it for you.
6. Do something new
A tried and tested way of letting go of someone from your life is to do something different with it. Explore a new aspect of your social, creative or spiritual self and it will not only take your mind off the person who has gone but will also help to enhance your personality. Volunteer for community work, go skydiving, take a solo vacation to Nepal, learn a new language or simply head for the new nightclub in town. Having a range of new interests will help you to understand that there is so much to live for and thus will make it easier for you to let go of the person you loved and lost.
Understand that the loss may always confuse and hurt you. An important part of learning to let go of a loved one is to accept that there are aspects of the relationship that you may never fully understand or get over. If your partner cheated on you, asking again and again why he did so or what made her prefer another man over you is not only an exercise in futility but will make you more miserable than ever. Some questions may never have any clear answers. When you learn to accept that heartbreaks and disappointments will always be part of your past, only then you will be able to leave it behind and move on.
7. Take one day at a time
As you are learning to let go of a loved one, there may be phases of ups and downs. Some days you may feel fine and good about getting back your life together while on other days, you may feel utterly despondent and think that you will never get over the loss of the relationship. Understand that letting go is not a simple linear process. Special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries will be tougher than most days but sooner or later time will heal your wounds.
Going through the loss of a cherished relationship can be long and difficult process. But remember that you are not alone and everyone has been through it, sometime or the other. Learning to let go, no matter how deeply you loved the person, is essential if you are to move on with your life.

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Thursday, August 27, 2015

Ways Title: WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Ways Description:  Getting married is the first big step in any lifelong relationship. But when
you want to show someone how much you love them, the engagement
becomes all the more important.

Here are some ideas:

• Take a bouquet of flowers and tie the ring around one. Have your
soon-to-be fiancé/fiancée receive the flowers with a card that reads, “I
will always protect you from the thorns.”

• Bring your partner to your favorite nature setting. Pack a picnic and
have the engagement ring sitting in with their favorite foods. Tell
them or write a note that says, “Want to share every meal with me?”

• Write them a note on a sticky piece of paper and then stick it to their
most used credit card.

• Create a collage of pictures of the two of you together and place it
somewhere that your partner will see it – in the middle, write, “Will
you marry me? These memories are great, but I’d like to create
more…”

Popping the question doesn’t have to be limited to the man asking the
woman either – so women can ask that all important question too..

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Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Ways Title: WE’RE HAVING A BABY

Ways Description: One of the most amazing experiences for a loving couple is the birth of a child. But when you’re the one that knows before your partner does, it can be filled with wonderful possibilities to show them how much you love them. Mary wanted to tell Bob that they were pregnant for the first time in a special way. They had been trying for a child for years, but nothing ever seemed to work for them – all of their medical resources were not panning out. But when Mary found out she was pregnant – without any help from the doctors – she realized that she hadn’t told Bob just how much she loved him through all of their hard times. He never complained and he was ready to adopt in order to be a parent with Mary. To help share the news, she wrapped up a small box in wrapping paper and set it out on the counter in their kitchen, where Bob always went when he came home from work. In that box, she had put a small heart shaped candy with a note that said, “I love you Bob and know that you will be the best father a child could ever have.” Stunned when he read this, Bob walked back to their bedroom to find Mary beaming with happiness. She had placed a bow on her stomach with a tag that read, “To Mary and Bob. Sorry it took me so long to get here.” Other ideas include:
• Creating a card from the baby to the spouse.

• Buying a piece of baby clothing and wrapping it up.

• Placing a note where your partner will find it.

• Wrapping up the pregnancy text box and placing a note inside that says, “Positive!”

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Tuesday, August 18, 2015 2 ,

One of the biggest puzzles that can ever confront a guy is to fathom what is going on in a woman’s mind. So much has been said about the difference between what a woman says and what she actually feels or whether she means yes when she is actually saying no that it is quite bewildering for a man to understand exactly what his girlfriend is thinking.

So if you are being kept on tenterhooks by her smiles and glances and wish to know whether she really likes you, go through the following points. You will be sure to interpret the signals correctly the next time your girl directs them at you.

Listen for verbal cues

When you get to know a girl, you normally begin by striking up a conversation. Engage in some small talk and see how your girl responds. If she is shy, the tone of her voice may get higher or she may start playing with the hair, like smoothening it or twirling it around her fingers. She may laugh at your not-so-funny jokes or giggle quite a lot. Whatever be the specifics, if a girl is interested in you, she is likely to keep her voice soft and endearing, as if inviting you to say more.

Display of interest

The matter of a conversation is equally if not more important than the tone. If a girl keeps asking you about your status in relationships or your preference is girls, she may be trying to find if you fulfil her expectations of a boyfriend.  Again if a girl likes you, she will want to know more about you. She may ask you about your interests, career and friends. And most significantly she will actually listen to all that you have to say. There are unlikely to be suppressed yawns, sideling glances at the watch or sudden interruptions. So if you find your girl willing slipping into the role of an active listener, you can be virtually certain that she likes you.

Watch her eyes

If a girl likes you, she will usually maintain eye contact when speaking to you. This shows that she is interested in what you have to say and wishes to continue the conversation. Sometimes however she may drop the gaze as soon you as you find her looking at you. This generally happens in the early days of dating when she has begun to like you but is still unsure of your reactions. Even when you are not actually talking to each other, she may continue to look at you often and have the shadow of a smile on her lips. This is virtually certain evidence that your girl likes being with you.

She may want to reach out

Notice if your girl looks for ways to touch you more often than what friends do. She may lean a mite too close to see what you are reading to lightly touch your wrist to look at the time on your watch. She may brush against you when you are walking together or laughingly poke you in the ribs at a joke. All these are signs that your girl would like to be around you. However don’t assume the opposite if your girl doesn’t yet cross into your private space. It may be that she is still nervous about the relationship or biding her time until she is sure about you.

Pay attention to what her friends say

If a girl likes you, it is almost certain that she has told her friends about you. So look at her friends’ reactions if you happen to come across them. If her friends giggle surreptitiously and throw meaningful glances at your girl, it is obvious that you were the subject of their recently-ended conversation. If they keep smiling at you and drop hints on your relationship, most probably your girl has told them that she likes you.

Watch out for signs of flirting

This is a trickier one since girls may seem to flirt for several reasons. If you find a girl flirting with you, it may be because she is interested in you or is doing so to get the attention of some other guy she is interested in. Again if a girl likes you, she may flirt with you a little less or much more than what she would normally do with a guy who is just a pal. The best thing to do under such circumstances is too act natural and not respond too boisterously or act utterly disinterested. After the girl has sounded you out, she is sure to make her intentions clear. And whatever happens, don’t flirt around in front of your girl or this will put her off if she is secretly interested in you.

See if she seeks your help

Girls often love playing the damsel-in-distress when they are with a guy they like. So if you are out till late in the evening and your date is noticeably shivering, offer her your jacket. She will love the gesture and you will have another excuse to meet up. Alternatively she may think of other ways to seek your help like showing her how to install an anti-virus on her computer or fixing the catch on her bracelet. These are often delicious excuses to be physically close to each other and make up some of the best memories of the early days of a romance.

See how she responds

If you really want to know whether a girl likes you, give her your most natural smile. If she likes you, her smile will reach her eyes, light up her face and she will hold your gaze.  If she smiles back shyly at you and then quickly turns to friends, she may be still nervous about you and unsure of your relationship. But if she smiles out of politeness and then looks away, say goodbye to her and move on.

Every girl has her own way of showing interest in a guy. Obvious signs that she likes you may be modified by her personality, upbringing and culture. However the above pointers generally hold well on most occasions and by following them you can get a fair idea if a girl wants to get to know you better.



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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

"Love is a many splendored thing," is a wonderful old song. We all have a basic need to be loved. When we are children we are content with maternal love and familial bonds. As we mature and we form romantic relationships, initially we may want to keep things light and uncomplicated. But as relationships deepen most individuals feel an innate need to love and be loved in return.

In the early days of romance you may often wonder how serious your man is about you? But even those in serious relationships, whether living together or married, are not exempt from these doubts. Just because he's told you at some point that he loves you or cares for you is no guarantee that his feelings won't change. We need constant reassurance that the loving feeling is still there.

Apart from whimsically plucking a daisy's petals and wondering 'He loves me, he loves me not', how can you gauge his feelings? One can't generalize, but men on the whole find it difficult to express their feelings. It's often left to a woman to try and fathom his deeper feelings. What are some of the signs which you as a woman can watch out for as an indication of whether your man loves you?

1. He tells you

If he says those three words and says them often, count yourself lucky. A lot of men assume that their women know they're loved and don't really tell them often enough. If he realizes your need to hear him say he loves you, and he means every word of it, he's truly one of a kind. A man may not say the actual words but imply as much when he tells you how fortunate he feels to have you in his life.

2. He shows you

Some men aren't exactly good with words and expressing their feelings. But they choose their own avenues of expression. This kind of guy does things, little or big to show you how much you mean to him. That may include ordering take-away when he thinks you need a break from cooking or taking the kids off your hands so that you can have some time to yourself. Yes, you may need to hear the words from him, but have you never heard that 'actions speak louder than words?'

3. He makes you feel special

And then there's the man who's always trying to keep the romance alive. He brings you flowers or wakes up extra early to bring you breakfast in bed. He's always going out of his way to make you feel exceptional.

4. He's happy around you

He sometimes foregoes time with his guy friends just to be with you. It may be because you've been feeling particularly low or you haven't spent enough time together lately or just because he feels good to be with you. If he can't get enough of you it's a sure sign that he's got it bad.

5. He listens to you

We're not talking 'You command, he obeys'. But when you're talking, he's genuinely interested in what you're saying and gives you his undivided attention. He looks at you (not at the television blaring in the background or the newspaper in his hand), responds appropriately and gives you the idea that he's really concerned about your concerns.

6. He compliments you

He notices when you make an effort with your appearance and appreciates it. He tells you which things suit you and add to your look. It always feels great to dress up but when he looks up admiringly and tells you so, you know you matter.

7. He takes care of you

If he babies you when you're sick and nurses you back to health, you can be pretty sure you've got a good thing going. If your comfort level is so high that you can look most miserable and still be secure enough in his love, you've got it made. Marriage vows don't include the "In good times and bad, in sickness and health" clause for nothing. Rose, a high-flying career woman, recalls the time she was suffering from a stomach infection and feeling wretched. "I was running a high fever and feeling like my stomach was turned inside out. The only thing that made me feel like I should hasten my recovery was Marvin, my boyfriend. He was like a guardian angel. He soothed my fevered brow and held the bowl while I puked my guts out. If ever I had any doubt about his undying devotion for me, it was quelled at that instant."

8. His friends and family respect you

Sometimes you can gauge how a man feels about you from the way his circle of friends and close family behave around you. If they hold you in high regard, you can be sure he's been telling them just how happy he is to have you in his life.

9. He appreciates your worth

Sometimes men choose more indirect ways of expressing their true feelings. He may not actually tell you he loves you or even do anything special. But he may tell you how proud he is of your achievements or what a good mother you are or even how well you run the house. You may even find him praising you to the skies to family or acquaintances.

10. He asks for your opinion

When important decisions are at stake, either concerning him or both of you jointly or even the kids, he doesn't just go ahead and do what he thinks is right. He asks for your advice and not just for the sake of it. He often considers it and may even go by it. Or if he doesn't, he tells you why he didn't.

11. He takes your feelings into account

If something upsets you concerning his family or friends, he tries to see your side of it. He feels for you and even if he's seen you cry a thousand times before, he still tries to make you feel better and has that tissue box at hand.

12. He's interested in what you want too

Let's say you're both watching television and you want to watch Oprah, while he'd like to catch Arsenal v/s Chelsea. You know how men are where football is concerned! If he lets you watch your choice of program, not just grudgingly but because he loves to see you happy, you've got a winner. And if he actually sits through it just because he wants to be by your side, you know he's a goner!

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Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Every girl likes to feel that she is special to the man she loves. Apart from making her feel cherished in love, it also signifies that she is loved and cared for in a deep, meaningful way. Thus if you wish to show your wife or girlfriend how much she means to you, choose from these top ten ways of making a girl feel truly special.

Write a romantic letter
In these times of Facebook and twitter, do something completely against the grain like writing out a love letter for your girl in your own hand. Use a perfumed paper if you have one and sign off with a lipstick kiss. For all you guys rolling your eyes at the lipstick impression, dress up your epistle instead with a satin ribbon like the lovers of yore. Finally leave it somewhere least expected like in the car dashboard or pinned on her pillow and she will go all weak in her knees reading it.

Dedicate a song
Dedicate a song to your partner on her favorite radio station. This works great for music-lovers and especially if you know a few of your partner’s favorite numbers. However the catch is to make sure that the radio is on so that she does not miss the dedication. It is easy to do this if you both are at home but if your loved one is at work, you could rope in a colleague to ensure that the radio is playing the right station.

Make gift coupons
Put a little bit of thought into this one and come up with intimate ideas that you know your partner will like. A sensual massage for your woman for instance complete with aromatic oils, flickering candles and soft music. Or perhaps a box of her favorite chocolates even though the particular confectioners is at the other end of the city. Make a great show of presenting the coupons to your partner and warn her that if not redeemed soon enough, the offer may expire.

A thoughtful gift
An expensive gift like a piece of jewelry or a silk hand-embroidered scarf, can make your girl feel like a Queen, especially at a time when no birthdays or anniversaries are round the corner. However not all of them need make a dent in your pocket. You could look for something with a special significance like the perfume or cologne that your girl wore the first time you went on a date. A gift like this would not necessarily empty your bank account but work equally well to make your beloved feel truly special.

Indulge your partner’s taste buds
Food is a significant source of sensual pleasure. Consider what your girl loves best, a simple home-cooked meal with a romantic ambience or exploring new tastes in exotic cuisine. Plan a dinner date around wherever your partner’s culinary fancies lie. It could be something as simple as a home-made pizza with the pepperoni laid out to read a romantic phrase like “you are the one for me”. Or it could be a special dinner at a fancy restaurant with live bands and French menus. The whole idea is to pamper your woman with a lovely experience, so that she remembers it for a long time to come. However be careful to choose a day when you know your loved one does not have an important conference or a client-meeting lined up after work.

Take a class
One of the best ways to make a woman feel special is to share her interests; this not only implies that you are genuinely interested in her hobbies but that you would even enjoy pursuing them with her. You could sign up for a sculpting, pottery or drawing class for your date evening. Have fun exploring with various colors and textures and if in the mood, you could even splash a little paint or mud on each other. The idea is not only to unwind and learn about making something beautiful but also to have fun with each other while doing so.

Put on your dancing shoes
What girl doesn’t like to be taken out for a nice dance? For those who love to boogie, a dance night can make for a great romantic idea which in fact can be as casual or as exclusive as you like. If you both would like to be part of a larger group of friends, look for dance nights at your local pub where you are most likely to know more than half the crowd present. On the other hand, a night out at a swanky nightclub which has multi-level dance floors and a VIP lounge might be just the thing needed to impress a date. However if you both like your voices as well as feet expressing your love for music, look for a nice karaoke bar and perform a duet in front of a cheering audience.

Help around the house
It is not always necessary to use mushy sentimentality to make a woman feel special. You can just as well do this by performing an arduous job or take on a domestic chore that is usually her responsibility. This will make her feel that you care for her in a practical, everyday sense and not merely on an occasional basis.

Plan a weekend vacation
If you are familiar with your partner’s itinerary, secretly arrange for a weekend getaway and then surprise her with the tickets. This might be more difficult to plan if you have kids but consider the time and effort as a kind of investment into the most precious thing you have together – your relationship. Use the time away to reconnect with each other and avoid having discussions on kids, finances or other issues which are likely to act as stress triggers.

Spend quality time
Most of the times, all it takes to make a girl feel special is to give her quality time and your undivided attention. Set up a home date with your beloved and turn off all distractions like your cell phone and the internet. Read to each other, listen to your favorite music, simply talk – and your girl is sure to have one of the most memorable evenings of her life.

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Wednesday, August 12, 2015 ,
Guys love being loved, praised and appreciated by their girlfriends. Here're some of the sweetest things you can say to you boyfriend to make him smile!
  1. I can be myself when I’m with you.
  2. You love me with all my faults.
  3. You are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.
  4. You never make fun of me even when I look like a clown.
  5. You never get bored of things I go on saying again and again.
  6. You are so caring.
  7. After my father, you are the best man I have ever come across.
  8. You are such an inspiration to me; you are the light of my life.
  9. You understand me even when I’m sobbing.
  10. You listen to all that I say, but you understand all that I don’t.
  11. You at least pretend to do what I suggest.
  12. All the things you do, whether small or big, make a very big difference in my life.
  13. You make me feel like the most beautiful woman in this world even when I’m not.
  14. You are like my pillar of support; I can fall back on you at any time.
  15. You are always there with the warm hug when I need it the most.
  16. You know how to bring a smile on my face.
  17. I cherish the faith you have in me, I promise never to break it.
  18. The best thing in you is your common sense, not many have it these days.
  19. I love the way you play the guitar. (if he does)
  20. I love all the sweet night talks and the feeling of you being around.
  21. You add color to my life, a sparkle to my eyes.
  22. You shower me with flowers and gifts.
  23. You are never too busy for me.
  24. Just the thought of spending time with you excites me.
  25. You say all that I want to hear.
  26. You are perfect.
  27. I love the way you say, “You are mine”.
  28. I love the way you hold me, so close to your heart.
  29. I love the way you play with my hair.
  30. I love the way you appreciate all the not-so-big things I do for you.
  31. I feel so lost without you.
  32. I am in love with you so truly, madly and deeply.
  33. You have taught me the meaning of life.
  34. I love your sense of humor
  35. You never complain when I am late, you say that you came early.
  36. I love it when you sing for me.
  37. You are more thoughtful about my comfort before yours.
  38. You do not complain even when I fall short of your expectations.
  39. You have seen me at my worst and you still love me.
  40. You are that someone who makes happiness happen.
  41. You are my best friend.
  42. You know just the right way to spoil me.
  43. You never snore while I’m talking to you.
  44. Just the mention of your name makes me blush.
  45. You always make me feel so special.
  46. Holding your hand gives me strength and comfort.
  47. You are not the one who makes empty promises. (Conditions apply).
  48. I like the way you shield me from the evil eyes.
  49. Ooh-la-la, you’re a great kisser.
  50. There are endless sweet things to say to you, but the sweetest one is that “I love you”.
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015 , ,


Morning shows the day, goes the famous quote. And what better way to ensure a day full of love that to wake up your beloved with a romantic Good Morning. So go through these following ideas and then have your partner open their eyes to a great day and the wonder of your love.
  1. A tender kiss This remains the most beautiful way of saying Good Morning especially when you wake up next to your partner following a night of loving intimacy. Gently kiss the top of each closed eyelid of your beloved before planting a kiss on his/her mouth with the merest touch of your lips. The feel of something brushing against their eyelids, which is one of the most sensitive areas of the body, is quite likely to rouse your partner from the deepest recesses of sleep and then you can whisper a tender Good Morning into their ears.

     
  2. Say it with flowers On times when you have to rush out to work or catch a flight at an ungodly hour and you don’t want your partner to get  up then, you can still make sure that he/she wakes up to a romantic morning. Keep a bunch of your partner’s favorite blooms on the bedside table accompanied by a note wishing him/her Good Morning. Alternatively if you know your partner does not mind a little cleaning up, you can even strew the pillow with rose petals and if you have the time, even spell out Good Morning with them.
     
  3. Breakfast in bed For those partners who value a practical treat more highly than symbolic gesture as evidence of love, a breakfast in bed is the perfect way to begin a day. This however works best on a holiday when neither has to rush to work. Set a breakfast tray with whatever your partner likes to have best in the morning – fried eggs, a slice of fresh fruit or even some cereal. Finally don’t forget the morning newspaper or a nicely-decorated flower in a glass to give your romantic Good Morning gesture an extra special touch.

     
  4. A musical alarm If you know your partner wakes up to an alarm in the morning, a great idea would be to set the alarm to a romantic song that is his/her favorite. You will of course have to do the resetting in secret and ensure that your partner doesn’t fiddle with it after you have already set the alarm to the surprise tune. The best part of this Good Morning gesture is that it can be done both when you are near or away from your beloved in the morning.
     
  5. Send a text message It always feels great to wake up to a nice text message in the morning and your partner is likely to be no different. And the best part about this romantic Good Morning idea is that it can be done when you both are apart. So the next time you are looking for a loving way of wishing your partner Good Morning, send him/her a text message which could be as funny, mushy or heart-warming as you like. Here are a couple of them to give you an idea:
    Lovely wishes 2 a Lovely Person on a Lovely Day             
                   You are the light of my world,
                   The music in my heart and
                   The first thought of my day.
                    Good Morning My Dear.
     
  6. Get cozy If you are waking up next to your partner and you both have a leisurely day ahead, how about having an intimate Good Morning in store for him/her? Gently nuzzle the side of your beloved’s neck with your mouth or suck at the tips of his/her fingers or toes. Your partner will not only be waking up to a cozy morning with you but can even look forward to some steamy romantic action.
     
  7. Put it in words For a Good Morning idea that includes dollops of romance, few can beat a hand-written note or a self-made greeting card. This can be as simple or as eloquent as you like; the former could come with just a Good Morning message and a lipstick impression perhaps, while the latter could have an entire love poem copied out on fine paper in your own hand. However if you don’t have the time for all this, inscribe your message on a ready-made greeting card and in fact this idea works best when your sweetheart is waking up to a special occasion like to a birthday or an anniversary.
     
  8. Put it in the mail If your partner is in the habit of sleeping in, a great idea to wish him/her Good Morning would be to have a gesture of your love arrive by the courier. Pick out anything your partner is especially fond of – a chocolate cake, a bouquet of roses or even an annual subscription to his/her favorite magazine. When the doorbell rings in the morning and your partner receives this token of your love, it is bound make a great start to their day.
     
  9. A helping hand If you know your partner has a busy day ahead, one of the best ways you can wish him/her Good Morning is by taking care of some chores around the house. You could get the kids ready or pack lunch for your partner. Lending a helping hand when he/she is pressed for time will ultimately be a more meaningful way of saying Good Morning than a merely romantic gesture.
     
  10. A hot cuppa Finally one of the most common ways of waking up a beloved is still the most romantic – bringing them their favorite beverage in the morning. This could mean either a steaming cup of Earl Grey or freshly filtered coffee from the best Arabica; just the feeling of a delicious warmth seeping within on a cold, wet morning will speak volumes about your love and affection and ensure that your partner always looks forward to wake up beside you.
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Wednesday, August 12, 2015 ,















Actions speak louder than words... So it’s not only about the sweet things that you say to your girlfriend, its all about the things that you can do for her. Here’s a list of the cutest ways to make your girlfriend happy:
  1. Call her as soon as you wake up just to say a good morning!
  2. Have a busy day ahead? Meet up with your girlfriend for breakfast.
  3. Call her at least once in the day to find if she was doing fine.
  4. If she’s angry with you, get her flowers and chocolates.
  5. Girls expect their boyfriends to listen to their problems: so just listen and do not offer solutions.
  6. Give her time to be with herself; there are times when girls like to be alone.
  7. Give her time to be with her girlfriends; you could catch up with your guy friends at the same time.
  8. Take your girlfriend shopping.

  9. Plan a surprise dinner for just the two of you at her favorite restaurant.
  10. Paint her nails...she’ll love it.
  11. If you are having a bad time and are upset about something, talk to your girlfriend about it; don’t expect her to understand your silence.
  12. Try to sort out misunderstandings before they grow into something big.
  13. Don’t force your girlfriend to do something she is not ready for.
  14. Tell her that it is alright if she is not ready for something; more importantly, mean it.
  15. Care for her, love her like no one else does.
  16. You should have a unique way of telling her that you love her.
  17. Girls are delicate, handle them with care.
  18. Compliment her and you’ll see her look more beautiful.
  19. Loving her is not only about mushy-mushy things; you could even play a game of scrabble together.
  20. Go cycling or maybe, swimming together.
  21. Get tickets for the latest movie; preferably the top row, and don’t forget the popcorn.
  22. What about taking her for a picnic?
  23. Cook a meal for her; preferably edible!
  24. Candle-light dinners are the best way to cheer her up.
  25. Catch up on a cup of coffee with your girl, if you have been busy for some time.
  26. Share all your secrets with her.
  27. Talk to her about your day - girls feel involved this way.
  28. Girls love giving suggestions, at least pretend that it helped.
  29. Honesty is the best policy - be honest to her and more importantly, to your relationship.
  30. Give her the support and comfort she needs.
  31. She loves you, you are her best friend - stand by her as her pillar of strength.
  32. If you are good with the brush, you could paint a picture of your girlfriend.
  33. Small words of appreciation will help for what she does for you.
  34. Love her for what she is and not what you want her to be.
  35. Sing her favorite song to her on the phone.
  36. Enroll for salsa classes together.
  37. Out of town for work, drive down and surprise her.
  38. She has an important day ahead, make sure you see her before that and tell her that everything will be fine, she is perfect.
  39. Going on a holiday with family? Make sure you get her something memorable. It doesn't have to be expensive.
  40. After a hectic week, you could plan a weekend together to catch up with each other.
  41. Lie down with your head on her lap - you’ll feel great and she’ll feel better.
  42. Call her every ten minutes for not-so-important reasons, but make sure you do not overdo it.
  43. Get a massage appointment just for the two of you.
  44. Book the whole restaurant for just the two of you.
  45. Take her for a long drive and maybe you could sit and admire the stars together.
  46. A walk along the beach under the starry night sky is undoubtedly romantic.
  47. Wear her favorite perfume all the time.
  48. Admire her body as you give her a massage.
  49. Some moments are best enjoyed in their own privacy; be sure of your timing.
  50. Stay indoors on a wet Sunday evening and cuddle up together and watch a movie.
  51. Meet up with her friends (obviously with her).
  52. Be the ten-on-ten guy for her parents.
  53. Don’t just love your girlfriend, respect her - it matters a lot.
  54. Be proud of your relationship; flaunt it as the most expensive thing you possess.
  55. Spend a night together in a tent at the beach.
  56. Cuddle up on a couch and enjoy the feeling of just being together.
  57. Everyone makes mistakes - forgive her if she makes one.
  58. Celebrate your promotion with her - after all there’s a woman behind every successful man and she deserves to be a part of it.
  59. SMS her from work just to tell her how much you are missing her.
  60. Love knows no rules. If you know any break them for her.
  61. Don’t do anything to break her trust - it hurts.
  62. Stay up all night planning your next date.
  63. If you are making love to her for the first time, make sure it is love and not lust.
  64. When she’s having a bad time, give her a warm hug - she needs it the most.
  65. A sweet good night kiss on the forehead and a warm hug is the perfect recipe for a good night's sleep.
  66. Take your girlfriend lingerie shopping.
  67. Write a song about her.
  68. Help her clean up the apartment after a party.
  69. Praying together in a religious place or even at home.
  70. If she’s not well, take a day off just to be at her side.
  71. Send out seasons’ greetings together.
  72. Frame a sketch of the two of you together.
  73. Carry her shopping bags for her.
  74. Compliment her in different languages.
  75. Send her no reason flowers.
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Sunday, August 09, 2015

When a man is dating a woman, it is usually all about impressing her. Women also feel inclined to put their best foot forward, but often, the onus is on the man. Quite often, women are a mystery. One woman’s food is often another woman’s poison. A man is never really sure what women go for - what one likes, another may detest. But there are some universal dating laws that would hold true for most women.

1. Smile

An open, friendly smile says a lot about you. It can be a good indication that you feel good about yourself and that reflects in your expression. It can be contagious and make your date feel like smiling too, which can only be a good thing. If you’ve been told you have a cheeky grin, don’t hesitate to flash it. Sometimes a tentative one works too, women often like that shy, little-boy look, and it makes them feel very protective! And don’t forget, if you’ve got dimples, let them show!

2. Pay her a compliment

When you are dating a woman, you can be sure that she has taken considerable trouble over her appearance. Let her know you’ve noticed. Compliment her on the attractive dress she’s wearing or just tell her how good she looks. Exclamations that sound genuine include "wow" or "amazing" or a simple "you look fantastic". As you get to know her better, make the compliments less superficial and more intense. For instance, if you realize she’s knowledgeable about art or is a great cook, tell her "I love that about you" but don’t be phony. Make sure whatever you compliment her on, it’s legitimate and you mean it.

3. Don't boast about your conquests

The worst thing you could do is to brag about your skills as a Casanova. Even if you are, she doesn’t really want to hear about it. It will only serve to make her feel like one in a long list of exploits. That’s not what you’re aiming for. One of the biggest turnoffs can be to have to sit through the boring monologue of a braggadocio and having to stroke his already considerable ego.

4. Don't run down your ex

And this is the next worst thing you could do. What you’re saying about your ex won’t matter as much as what is being conveyed about you. That you cannot master your emotions and handle a break-up is one thing. But the bitterness that spills out does not set the right note and will cause considerable discomfort to your date. Also consider her feelings. She will realize that if things don’t work out, one day, you will be talking the same way about her to another woman. And if there’s one thing women hate, it’s to be discussed in a negative light with another woman, however unknown. It will hardly make her empathetic.

5. Personal hygiene is very important

Your date will really appreciate it if you make the effort to look neat and smell good. A woman adores a man who smells divine. It will in all probability encourage her to lean in, and use any excuse to get closer to you. Just so she can get a whiff of your sexy aftershave. Pay attention to your grooming and your appearance too. A well turned-out guy is a visual pleasure and you will find her eyes staying on you in genuine appreciation.


6. Be a good listener


Don’t feel like you have to talk all the time to keep the conversation flowing. If you think she’s hesitant or not an equal participant in the conversation, draw her out. Ask about her interests and work, what she does in her leisure time – general topics which she will feel free to open up about. It takes a skilled conversationalist to avoid awkward silences and yet manage to steer the conversation back to your date. If she’s happy to talk, be an attentive listener and store relevant details for future reference. She’s sure to be touched that you remembered such apparently trivial details and made a note of them.


7. Make her laugh


Use humor to charm her. That doesn’t mean you have to have her cracking up for a better part of the evening. But if a woman spends her date with you truly enjoying herself, she’s certain to let her guard down enough to let you get to know her better. And she’s definitely going to be up for more dates in the future.


8. Display good manners


Treat the lady well. There is something charming about a man who respects a lady and isn’t afraid to show it. Don’t make the mistake of using foul language or cracking smutty jokes. It rarely serves any purpose other than to indicate your lack of maturity. At the same time, don’t bow and scrape too much and hang around like a puppy dog that’s too eager to please. Keep your self-respect intact.


9. Don’t be pushy


The key is subtlety. Don’t push her for anything more than she is ready to reveal or to give. Also, don’t be aggressive and insist on getting her another drink, paying the entire bill or having coffee at your place. Give her the liberty of making her own decisions and while you may like to foot the entire bill, if she isn’t comfortable with it, don’t be boorish and persist. And just because she lets you buy her dinner, don’t expect sex as a natural outcome of it. In fact, the golden rule is not to have too many expectations at all, especially of the first few dates. Give her space, don’t crowd her and pursue her too much.


10. Be honest


Or at least as honest as you can afford to be. Act as naturally as you can and don’t pretend to be anything you’re not. It will be hard to always keep up appearances and eventually your true colors will show. The more at ease you are, the more comfortable she will feel with you, and that’s the best guarantee you have that she will want to see you again.

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Sunday, August 09, 2015

A friend of mine, Betty, an attractive brunette in her late twenties, was telling me of this incident. A week ago she happened to run into Jim, a cute guy she’d dated in college. They’d dated for a couple of years, but then things didn’t work out. They’d ended the relationship on a friendly note and were happy to run into each other now. They decided to catch up over a drink and talk about old times. They spent a fun evening together, during which time Betty learnt that Jim was in a committed, live-in relationship with his girlfriend of five years, Sarah, and was planning to get engaged soon. At some point in the evening, he said he’d call his girlfriend to let her know he’d be late and Betty happened to overhear their conversation.

"Hey," Jim said. "How was your day? Just called to tell you I’ll be home a little late today. Had to discuss some plans with a client and thought we’d do it over a drink. See you in a bit."

While Betty didn’t want to act like she’d been eavesdropping, she couldn’t help but ask Jim why he’d deliberately lied. Jim was unrepentant about it. His explanation, "Sarah has an active imagination and if I tell her the truth, she’ll think there’s something going on. Both you and I know that we’re just having a harmless evening of catching up, but if I tell her like it is, she won’t buy it. It’s just easier to lie, it’s less complicated that way."

The way Jim sees it isn’t an isolated incident. Men lie for different reasons and with different motivations. Why do men lie? Most often, the reasons for which they lie to their partners/lovers/spouses/girlfriends follow a set pattern. Men lie...

1. For the heck of it

Men often have a great sense of the absurd and enjoy telling the occasional lie just for a lark. They find they get a few laughs out of suckering the party concerned and pulling the wool over their eyes successfully.

2. As a matter of course

Sometimes men just lie because they can’t be bothered to tell the truth. It’s just a habit that comes naturally and can be used as a defense mechanism, rather than go through the awkward motions of telling it like it is.

3. Because it’s less complicated

If the truth requires long explanations and supporting facts, men figure it’s just easier to tell a lie. Rather than get into long-winded stories to their spouse, which expend a lot of time and effort and may still result in disgruntled looks and dissatisfied expressions and take more convincing to be believable, men prefer to lie.

4. If the reason is innocuous

If the lie isn’t a major one, men justify it as being harmless. And if it’s harmless, what’s wrong in it? They figure they’re not hurting anyone with a simple little white lie, and they don’t lose any sleep over it.

5. Because they get themselves into trouble when they tell the truth

Some men find they have an uncanny knack for getting themselves into trouble when they try telling the truth. And that it never works for them. They try being straightforward, like a sailor friend who told his girlfriend how he enjoyed visiting strip bars, when ashore, to unwind after a particularly tough voyage, and how she blew a fuse over it. He thought being honest was a great thing, until he discovered it was better to have lied or simply evaded telling the truth.

6. If they feel their partner won’t be able to handle it

Like Jim, some men feel that if they tell their partner the truth like it is, they will read more into the situation than there actually is, and blow it out of proportion. Not only will this cause trouble for the relationship, but it will also lead to a lot of discomfort and tension, which was unnecessary and uncalled for in the first place. By lying about it, men eliminate the possibility of stress and anxiety over their partner’s reaction and rest easy knowing they’ve averted a possible mishap.

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Saturday, August 08, 2015

For broke people, such costs are unthinkable. And yet many people don’t realize that there are plenty of fun, romantic, or engaging things one can do that cost next to nothing. Here are ten date ideas for broke people which are sure to put the zing back to their dating life.

Head for the outdoors
In times of good weather there are a host of things you can do at zero cost. Take your bikes and set off for a romantic ride through the woods or the countryside. When you come upon a shady nook or an opening by a stream, you can take a break and refresh yourselves. Alternately you can spend a day at the beach if you are lucky to live by the sea. Use the time spent together to talk to each other, find out about your partner’s dreams and aspirations and the at the end of the day you will feel connected to him/her in a way that would have been impossible if you have settled for an evening at the nightclub.

Picnic in the park
Put together a picnic basket with a few sandwiches, a carton of juice, muffins or any other dessert that is lying in your kitchen. Then head for your favorite local park and enjoy doing things that are as romantic as totally free. Swing on the swing set and you will find it therapeutic and calming. Climb a tree or Throw a frisbee around to go back to the carefree days of childhood. Or feed the ducks in the pond and admire the view of the setting sun behind the trees.

Do the culture circuit
Most cities and big towns have an arts district which can make for the perfect setting of a low-cost date if you both are the arty kind. Browse through the block, check out paintings and other creations of local artists and wind down with a cup or jasmine tea at one of the quaint cafes. On your way back you may even be lucky to catch a free performance put up by local musicians and if you get the chance maybe even jam with an encouraging band.

A walking tour
This is a variation of the above idea and ideal for those interested in history and culture. In fact a walking tour of you city or town can be a wonderful date idea when you are having nice weather. You could contact your local authorities for a walking tour map of your town and then set about to (re)discover the sights, architectural highlights and the museums along the way and maybe get to know each other even better while you do so.

Cook a nice meal together
This is for those days when bad weather may prevent you from taking advantage of free outdoor date venues. It won’t be completely free, but remember that you have to eat anyway. And what better way to cook than to explore a feast of senses with your beloved. To keep costs down and yourself stress-free, avoid planning too many dishes. Rather make any single item of the menu the highlight of the dinner, like a casserole if your partner is the meat and potatoes kind of guy or perhaps the rich chocolate truffle pastry if your girlfriend has a sweet tooth. Do take some pains with the setting though - with soft music playing in the background, muted lighting from candles and flowers on the dining table, even someone broke like you is sure to have the most romantic of dates.
Creativity night
For those evenings when it’s freezing cold out there and you cannot afford the warm interiors of a movie hall, do something creative to bond with your date. You can put together used material or stuff lying around to make something cool together. How about a collage from magazine photos or stencil T–shirts with spray paint and re-purposed cardboard. A great idea would be to build a kite with your partner and fly it on the next windy day which would also a convenient excuse for a second date.

Go tobogganing
If you are snowed in and yet don’t want to be shut indoors, call up your date and ask her/him to come over. In the meantime, ask the neighborhood kids where they go tobogganing once your date arrives, head for the “slopes”. It will not only be great fun to go back to the games of childhood but can even be hugely romantic with both you and your partner frolicking in the snow together. Follow it up by stopping at a café for a hot cup of joe or some other warm beverage and you are sure to have the perfect ending to a most amazing date.

Meet at the library
College students are among people who are broke more than just now and then. If the same is true of you, ask your partner to meet you at the library at a certain hour. Sit across each other, play footsie under the table or even hold hands surreptitiously. And above all don’t forget to whisper sweet nothings to each other, all of which can be hugely romantic and fun to indulge in.

Get naughty
For a sizzling date idea that will not cost you a dime, how about arranging for a strip show for your partner with you as the star performer, of course. Rehearse the steps a couple of times before the performance and on the actual night, have your partner sit back and enjoy the show.

Window shopping
If you are on the tightest of budgets, you and your partner could just browse through a large shopping mall together on a casual date. Here there are a variety of easy-going, non-competitive interests you could choose from like window shopping, having a latte at a coffee shop, listening to music or just sitting and watching others. You are certain to get a peek into the kind of person your partner without the need to come too close. And all this, without spending a bomb too.

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Saturday, August 08, 2015

When was the last time you said something special about your girl? After one passes through the initial days of dating, partners quickly run out of romantic ways to describe each other. Married couples too, become busy with the daily business of living and forget how a few romantic words of praise could fire up the dimming embers of love. Here are few suggestions to warm your partner’s heart with some of the most romantic ways to describe your girl.

“God must’ve been showing off when He created you”
This line offers a casual and yet clever way of appreciating your lover. If your girl is looking particularly attractive one evening, the words can be highly appropriate.  Or you can even weave it in an ordinary conversation as a natural way of praising your lover. It is fun and flirty and best of all, sure to leave your partner glowing with pleasure.

A romantic quote
Look for a romantic quote and say it an appropriate occasion. The following words from the film Don Juan DeMarco plumbs the deepest levels of intense love that any man can feel for a woman."Have you never met a woman who inspires you to love? Until your every sense is filled with her? You inhale her. You taste her. You see your unborn children in her eyes and know that your heart has at last found a home. Your life begins with her, and without her it must surely end."

However if you want something simpler but equally poetic, how about Robert Burns’ well-known poem, “ O My love is like a red red rose/That’s newly sprung in June/O my Love is like the melody/that is sweetly played in tune”. These classic quotes contain a wealth of emotion and since they have been created by some of the best poets in history, they are crafted to remarkable effect.

“You look wow”
Compliment your woman on her looks and see the stars twinkle in her eyes. Telling your lover how nice she looks will instantly pep up your partner, make right a bad day and best of all, make her feel truly loved and appreciated. However be careful to sound sincere in your compliments since even a hint of faking can ruin a wonderful moment and leave your partner feeling disillusioned. Also use the line sparingly as over-doing might turn the words as well as the sentiment behind it commonplace.

“You’re the smartest girl I ever dated”
This conveys to a woman that you consider her being much more than a pretty smile or a hot body, that you recognize something deeper and more substantial in her than the sum of her physical attributes. Being appreciated for one’s intelligence or personality can be very empowering to a woman and if your compliment gives a boost to her self-esteem, she is sure to carry a favorable impression of you.

“You complete me”
The words not only imply that the speaker is aware of his own shortcomings but marks out the partner as one of the blessings of their lives. The emotion that your presence and love in somebody else’s life makes a positive difference is very empowering and is sure to melt the hearer. Use this line when you are sharing a quiet moment with your girl so that the full import of the words sink in.

“Help us through this - You are so much stronger than I am”
This line works like a miracle when the two of you are in the middle of a fight and no resolution seems forthcoming. The words highlight the need for partners to work together to resolve an issue even while they recognize the man’s acceptance of his partners emotional maturity. By sending out this message, you will instantly break the tension of the moment and hold out the possibility of smoothening out differences. However don’t forget to accompany your words with a light squeeze of your partner’s hand and she will know that you both are on the same side.

“Your skin is like honey – sweet and fragrant”
Whisper these words in your woman’s ears when you are sharing an intimate moment and watch the difference it makes to your relationship. Physical intimacy is a big factor is having a healthy relationship and telling your partner how good you feel when you both are wrapped up in each other’s arms is a sure-fire way to set the flames of your love roaring.

“You’re amazing”
Reserve these words for the time when your girlfriend or wife has accomplished a challenging task, like completing a project at work or whipping up a delicious dinner for you. The works mark appreciation of the other person’s qualities as an individual or a partner, depending on the occasion for which it is used. Your woman will not only feel good about their own achievements but also proud to have such a supportive partner.

“Meet the essence of my life”
Say these words when you are in company and are introducing your girlfriend or wife to people around. She will not only be pleased at such a straightforward avowal of your love but glad that your chose to admit it in public. Better still, follow the sentence by whispering in your lover’s ears, “and I mean it”.

“You are so beautiful”
No matter how many times you have said it before, nothing compares to these simple words in conveying the depth of your love. However it is imperative that you mean the words when you say them. Or else they will become yet another commonplace phrase used to cover up uncomfortable gaps in conversation.

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