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Osinbajo: Mr. President, Mikel scored yesterday Night ?

Buhari: Which Mikel?

Osinbajo: John Mikel Obi of Nigeria

Buhari: What did you drink last night?

Osinbajo: I swear, him score. It was a corner.

Buhari: Osinbade, That means change have catch Mikel and football

Osinbajo: Yes, change has change Mikel

Buhari: Did Chelsea win?

Osinbajo: No, them beat them two one, last minute
goal

Buhari: That is corruption, we must fight it

Osinbajo: How?

Buhari: They must replay the match. Call EFCC Chairman for me

An annoyed teacher was trying to teach the students and here’s what transpired: TEACHER: Who is the President of Nigeria? CHILDREN: (They all chorused) Lamido Sanusi! TEACHER: Correct! Who is the Minister of Defence? CHILDREN: Asari Dokubo! TEACHER: Good! What is the capital city of Nigeria? CHILDREN: Enugu! TEACHER: Very good! Who composed the National Anthem? CHILDREN: D-Banj and 2face! TEACHER: Excellent. What do you call people from Moscow? CHILDREN: Mosquitoes! TEACHER: Perfect! How much is 2 + 5? CHILDREN: 25! TEACHER: That’s great! You’re going to be stupid like this until “AREGBESOLA” pays my salary. ABEG WHO NEEDS HELP? THE TEACHER OR THE STUDENTS?

At a Wedding in a Church, the Pastor said to the Congregation; PASTOR: “Is there any Man or Woman here who knows anything that will make this wedding not to go on? You may say it now or forever remain silent.” AKPORS quickly stood up from the back and started walking towards the altar. The Bride fainted, the Groom ran out of the church. The Pastor gave Akpors the microphone to say what he wanted to say. AKPORS: “Pastor, please show me the way to the toilet, I want to shit.” ONE WORD FOR AKPORS THIS TIME?

A husband tries to leave the house at night but his wife stops him... WIFE: Where are you going to? HUSBAND: I'm going to the farm. WIFE: Going to the farm this night?! To do what? HUSBAND: On my way coming back home yesternite, I saw two ripe oranges. So I'm going there to suck the oranges. WIFE. Ok. I'm also going to the market this night too. HUSBAND: To do what? WIFE: On my way coming back from the market yesterday, I saw an unripe plantain that was very hard and big, so I'm going to check if it's still ripe enough for me to eat.

Someone help me out A person who is waiting for a bus has to be at the BUS STOP A person who is waiting for a train has to be at the STATION, A person who is waiting for a plane has to be at the AIRPORT, A person waiting for a ship has to be at the HARBOUR. Please i am waiting for love, where should i be?

Warri Bible is out…grab ur copy now!!! Sample version: ENG:- As it is written in the Bible. WARRI:-As dem yan for Bible. ENG:- Jesus entered the boat wit his disciples. WARRI:- Bros J come enter canoe wit him padi dem. ENG:- As the boat was sailing, dere was a great storm. WARRI:- As the canoe dey move, na im yawa cum gas. ENG:- The storm was so great dat it was like a whirlwind. WARRI:- As the yawa dey gas na im kasala burst join. ENG:- The disciples became so afraid dat dey shouted Master! Master!! WARRI:- Na im liver fail him padi dem, na im dey begin dey hala…Bros eh! Bros eh!! ENG:- Jesus got up and calmed the wind down. WARRI:-Na so Bros J get up come arrange the matter. ENG:-He turned to his disciples and said, oh ye of little faith. WARRI:- Na im Bros J come look him padi them shake him head, come provoke…“O BOI UNA FALL MY HAND”. ENG:- The disciples replied and said “WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS? ” WARRI:- him padi dem com hala “SHOOO…Bros J, which levels naa? you be winsh?… WOULD U READ DIS VERSION??

Akpors was given an assignment to find out what would happen to a grasshopper after all its legs have been ripped off. The next day Akpors brought the grasshopper along with him to school and in the teacher’s presence, Akpors started taking the legs of the grasshopper out one after another! Akpors said (after removing the first leg), “Jump! Grasshopper jump!” The grasshopper jumped… Akpors removed the second leg and the third and the fourth and fifth, the grasshopper kept jumping. After removing the last leg, Akpors said again, “Jump! Grasshopper jump!” but the grasshopper didn’t move this time. The teacher who had been watching the whole drama then asked Akpors, “So Akpors, what happens to a grasshopper whose legs have been ripped off?” Akpos smiled and said, “It loses ITS ABILITY TO HEAR,ma’am!” SO WHO DO YOU THINK IS SHARPER, AKPORS OR THE TEACHER?

Boy: darling Girl: hi baby Boy: how are you? Girl: i am fun Boy: you are fun?! Girl: oops! Sorry I meaning I am find Boy: eh,what you doing? Girl: the tv is washing me in Muvhango Boy: lol,k! Who u with? Girl: my mother,my father and parents Boy: yoh! So when am I gonna see you? Girl: ah baby,but you is told me you are moneyless now you wanna look me to the sea! Boy: lmao yoooh! What you do mean? Girl: baby laughing for who? Ah u see I make a stock of laughing Boy: eh baby,I will call you coz ur texting is cripled Girl: ok baby,I am go waiting for ur missed call, lolz

1. Guys with bald head are very stubborn 2. hugging a girl with small breast causes chest pain. 3 Its impossible to see an albino smiling in the afternoon under sun 4. Majority of Girls that don't own a car, have Car charger. 5. Research has proven that ugly girls are very confident. 6. Majority of people that Update "Work 2moro" or "Stressful work" are jobless. 7. Only Nigerians can change their accent in less than 5hrs. 8. Farting continuously helps strengthen your anal muscles. 9. Mosquitoes don't just bite you. They also urinate on you after sucking your blood if you stink. 10. Men automatically turn single when they see a girl they Like. 11. Men that fight women are scared of fighting their fellow men ===LIKE & Share===

Akpors gets married and on his wedding night he calls his father for some tips on what to do, because he has never been with a woman before. AKPORS: So what do I do first? AKPORS’ FATHER: Take her clothes off and lay her on the bed. Two minutes later Akpors was on the phone again “She is Unclad and in bed, what do I do now?” His father can’t believe what he is hearing. AKPORS’ FATHER: Take your damn clothes off and get into bed with her. After another two minutes Akpors is on the phone again. AKPORS: Dad I’m Unclad and in bed with her, what do I do now? His dad’s patience is now running thin so he says, “Akpors, do i have to spell everything out for you? Just put the hardest thing on your body where she pees Good night!” Just when the old man starts snoring, Akpors is on the phone again. AKPORS: Ok dad, I have put my head in the toilet where my wife pees, what do I do next? AKPORS’ FATHER: OH MY GOD! DROWN YOURSELF IN THAT TOILET YOU BLOODY FOOL! One word for Akpors this time?