Shade of Lust (Episode 4)

Shade of Lust (Episode 4)

One after the other they soon left, finally leaving Tracy and I
alone in my room.
Tracy was my course mate and someone very dear to me.
She really helped me a lot in my first year and equally was
very helpful in my second year.
I had to move over to my current hostel earlier in the year just
to be closer to her. But my feelings for her were simply pure
and harmless. I saw her as a very innocent girl who never
deserved to be harmed and I never for once had any strange
or bad ideas for her.

Even when I had sharp quickies with other girls, I made sure
she never got to know about it. She was the only girl that
understood me. But for the first time in my life, I was very
uncomfortable being alone with her.

‘’You lost your dad and you never invited anyone to his burial,
including me. I only got to hear about it from a course mate.
And now you are acting so strange and different. What’s really
going on?. You can still confide in me’’ she demanded,
drawing close to hold my hand. I looked away, avoiding her
gaze for no just reason. Her presence made me feel totally
uncomfortable.
‘’I lost my dad. He was killed. I have no one else. I’m all alone
in a country that is still a bit foreign to me. I have bills to pay.
My school fees, hostel rent, test book, feeding and everything.
Why won’t I look different with such problems bugging me?’’ I
asked breathlessly.

‘’I understand. That’s why you should always confide in me.
I’m not from a poor family. We can always find a way out, just
like we did in our first year. ‘’ she said tightening her grip on
me. I quickly broke free from her, stood up and breathed
deeply.
‘’Never mind, I already have found a way out. I have a new
means of taking care of myself’’ I said without thinking,
leaving her staring at me with great astonishment.

‘’What in the world are you talking about. Can you put me
through please?’’ she demanded like a caring wife, leaving
speechless as I instantly searched for a lie to cover my
outburst but couldn’t find any.
I really liked Tracy but I had to keep some things from her to
retain her respect.

‘’Listen Tracy. I’m no longer the spoilt good for nothing rich
dude you used to know. I’m now nothing. I’m now nobody. I
can’t even afford to take you out or buy lunch for you like I
used to do in the past’’ I confessed for no reason, leaving the
young girl totally shocked with my comment.

‘’Are you trying to insult me or what?. Are you trying to say
that I have been your friend all these while for your money or
what?. I see you have nothing to talk about. You know where
to find me when you get a grip of yourself’’ she replied with
great energy, hissed and headed to the door. I instantly
regretted every word I said to her.

It really was the first time she was getting angry with me. I
kind of felt it.
‘’I’m so sorry for attacking you. I just haven’t been myself
since I lost my dad and returning to the hostel really
disorganised my head. I’m sorry’’ I apologised.

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